It's been quite a while since I wrote something. This is not some poetry or any artistic bullshit its just my rants so, read it if you like. I have lost some part of me that was so dear to me, the dark side of me that would constantly look into the void and see it staring back. The nothingness and void has been filled, or at least that's how i feel. Even though it is replaced by "something" i am not sure if it is all color but hey at least it is something, right? At least i feel fulfilled finally after so so long. The black is replaced by something grey and that's something to be joyful about i guess. Shit has been alright lately, things are not the worst. Nothing is as planned (if only i had a plan lol) but it's alright can't complain. Sometimes here and there i catch myself zone out for a sec either looking at the moon or towards a constellation, but i haven't had those episodes of endlessly staring at the ceiling lying on the bed. I've been hav...
As the morning light bleeds into the peaceful darkness of my room I can’t help but think, it’s been quite a while since the thought of you has crept my mind. Didn’t I always want this? Didn’t I wanted to ease myself of the pain of your remembrance? Why do I then feel this wave of gloom washing over me as you slowly become a fading memory that once was? Is this what healing feels like? Love came and it shattered my heart to bits and it never returned. I have never felt love after you it’s almost as if you took my ability to feel love along with you. I have learnt to pretend, quite a skill to have. It helps me survive the torturous cruel life or whatever is left of it. My eyes ache for a sight of you while my heart tells me it can’t take it once more. No. At times I want to be left alone in the peaceful hum of the night while I stare into the abyss recollecting the memories of you smiling at my corny jokes. “This shall pass soon” I hear you say while you read the tales of my heart w...
Dear love What are you? The more I think I understand you, the more you surprise me with a face I have never seen before. Are you the wave of sadness that takes over a child when he loses his favorite toy, or are you the tears of the mother who aches for the sight of her dead son? Are you the silence of the father who hugs his son to war or the cries of the 30-year-old woman who just lost her husband to cancer? Perhaps you are the late-night thoughts of a teenage boy who dreams of being noticed by this one fellow human or the diffidence of a girl to face this one boy at school who she thinks is the smartest guy in the universe. You might even be the desire of the young student who bunks his school to play cricket or the torment of his teacher who tells him not to. Sometimes, it all feels like an illusion, something that we hold on to just because of our instinctive need to be with someone, but then my heart pounds against my chest, almost breaking my ribs, reminding me of a peace it h...